Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Today, I hate expectations.

You were worth the fight. I just couldn't fight forever.
There is always going to be that one person you wish you could be with, even after knowing that they don't want to be with you.
He's always close enough to touch but never close enough to hold.
Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.
Someday we'll wave hello and wish we'd never waved goodbye.
Funny how it rains all day.
The moment you feel like giving up, just remember why you held on for so long.
Everyone is always asking me what’s wrong, but I don’t even think it makes any sense. My heart just hurts.
No one belongs here more than you do.
I know, no matter how hard we both try and hide it. You miss me just as much as I miss you.
Maybe he'll want me tomorrow.
Well, the tears are starting to slow down now. The pain, however, remains constant.
I don’t want him to call me. I don’t want to talk to him, to have to hear his voice and try and figure out a way for him to not tell by my voice how much I miss him.
I know that after I left he sort of put me on this back shelf in his mind, this second row of his heart, but for me he'll never be anything but first.
Letting go: you want to rid yourself of that person, you want their face to stop appearing everytime you hear that certain song, and you want to not call them at 3am when your heart aches.
I sang her every Willie Nelson song I knew and we made love.
I've accepted the fact that we can't be, but I've also accepted that you're going to be that one person I carry with me for the rest of my life, the one that is always going to make my heart jump a little and my stomach tie up in knots no matter how happy I am otherwise... no matter how long its been.
You make my heart go tickle tickle.
One boy, one girl, two hearts beating wildly.
Forgiveness is never easy. Bitterness is easy; hatred is easy. But forgiveness, that is a tough one. 
Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. 
I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met
You're the epitome of every attribute and quality that I've ever looked for in another person.
He could be anywhere in the world but he chooses to be with her because life is better with her by his side.
I wish you'd fall in love with me like Ken did with Barbie.
Leaving never hurts as much as being left behind. 

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Today, I hate slings.

I do not understand how people can walk away from someone, in reality or conversation, and expect the other person to chase after them. Why must we, as people, challenge those we need so greatly? I refuse to believe that I will run to someone who walked away from me.
Maybe some people aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Maybe some are just passing through to teach us a lesson.
I need you. I don't know why but every now and then in my life for no reason at all, I need you.
I made you cupcakes for your birthday but you never showed up to the game.
You're easy. He's desperate. Have fun with that.
What made you think that he couldn't find the door in the morning when he found that bed so easily in the dark? 
It makes me happy to know that we ended on a good note.
You won’t realize just how many things remind you of a person until they become someone you no longer wish to remember.
I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints.
Don't take this personally because we were never really in love.
You smile makes me want to misbehave.
Crawl back to me. I dare you.
My dad took me to Paris for the weekend. We had the most amazing time. On the plane back to London he asked me, "Do you know why I took you to Paris, only you and me?" And I said, "Why?" And he said, "Because I wanted you to see Paris for the first time with a man who you know will love you for the rest of your life."
And I'm beginning to realize that I'm not who you need.Put your phone down and step away. Sorry honey, but he's not calling today.

If two past lovers can remain friends it's because they were either never really in love or they still are.
Your heart is my favorite shade of black.
Yeah, um... About your face? You should totally get that fixed.
I hate how, looking back, I only regret every decision I made.
And he'd never tell you but he can play guitar.
Welcome to broken hearted airlines. Thank you for crashing and burning with us tonight.
Fail. Be bad at things. Be embarrassed. Be vulnerable. Go out on a limb or two or twelve. You will fall and it will hurt but the farther you fall, the higher you rose and and the higher you rise, the clearer your future becomes.
If it doesn't hurt in the end, it was wasn't worth it in the beginning.
You don't always win your battles but its good to know you fought.
You're cold but you're beautiful. You're a mess but I like it that way.
And everyone's just spending all day thinking about someone who's thinking about someone else.
I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
I think that every girl needs to date a sweet gentleman, a charming liar, a determined brain and a pretty boy to show her she deserves respect, flattery, intelligence and something beautiful.
But it was vile, and it was cheap, and you're beautiful but you mean nothing to me.
I made a list of wrongs and rights tonight and your number one on both sides.
Road signs and street lights are what guide you on your way. Distance doesn't seem to matter much when you have big dreams at a young age.
And that girl that's pretty to you is pretty to other people.
Our message is simple: where our music is welcome, we will play it loud. Where our music isn't welcome, we'll play it even louder.
 I never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Today, I hate remembering Sunday,

Don't talk to her like that.
Now, I don't like using words like "forever" but I promise I'll love you until the end of today. And, in the morning, when I remember everything that you are, I know I'll fall for you again.
I plan on marrying that boy someday so he better plan his future accordingly.
You and I are going to be okay. You know that, right?
I want to meet a boy who will tell me that he thinks I look beautiful with my hair like this. Wavy and curly and five shades too dark for my skin tone. I want him to tell me to never straighten it nor curl it. That it's absolutely beautiful the way it is.
It's like a thousand paper-cuts soaked vinegar; the way I feel when I see him touching her.
I swear I didn't forget.
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the wind longs to play with your hair.
I love everything about you except that you're not mine.
I'm not afraid of trying again. I'm afraid of getting hurt for the same reasons.
Eff this, I'm going to Hogwarts.
And I wonder if you still dream about falling asleep next to me.
What do I look like? The Wizard of Oz? You need a heart? You need a brain? Go ahead. Take mine. Take everything I have.
So I guess we are who we are for many reasons and maybe we'll never know most of them. 
Because unlike you, I meant everything I said.
When you hold me in your arms, you hold me together.
A good friend will ask about your dating history. A best friend will blackmail you about it.
The way we kiss is my drug. When I'm with you, I believe in love.
He said, "If I had a nickel for every girl like you I've met, I'd have five cents."
Whatever, just hang up on me.
You don't need me and that's what's breaking my heart.
You can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them until they get nervous and give in.
I looked at him and he looked at me and, for a second, it's like we forgave each other for everything.
Remember: you don't have to be with a guy to  have your heart broken by him.
Just ask yourself one simple question, is he taking care of your heart?
Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
Of course I like the whole single, party, fun thing but sometimes I wouldn't mind the whole hugging, holding hands, I'm "his girl" kind of thing. 
This is black and white. Not grey, not cream. Black and white.
I can't say that I’m mad at you, because I’m not. I can't say that I hate you, because I don't. And I can't say that I’m done or that I’ll never talk to you again, because I know that I’m not and I know that I will. But I can say that I hope and that I pray, that if you really care about me at all, like you claim that you do, that you will stop setting me up, that you will stop saying things that you know you don't mean, and that from now on... whenever you know deep down that something is going to hurt me, please don't, just don't do it.
It`s like that school girl kind of love; the one where you chew on your pen and look out the window and imagine you two getting married. 
He stumbles over his words. Closes his eyes tightly. Breathes in. Breathes out. Almost loses his courage. "I love you," he says. "I love you so much it hurts." 
"Meet me"
I put my coat on.
I walked out the door, and felt the sharp spring breeze on my face.
It made my cheeks bright red.

"You look flushed"
You hugged me tight, but it was a friend hug.
I could hear the song coming from your I-pod.
 
"You look so pretty"
My back was against the wall.
Your arms were around me.
You buried your head in my neck.
I could feel your eyelashes when you blinked.
 
"You smell like chocolate"
It made me smile.
You looked at my lips, and kissed me for the first time.
The world was so quiet.


"I think... I... love you"
I cradled my phone by my ear.
I told you I loved you too, and you let out a
Breath of relief.
We stayed on the phone until we fell asleep.

"I’m outside."
I crept out the back door, and we sat in my car.
You kissed me.
You’d been gone so long.
I dried your tears, and you stayed quiet.
I promise never to leave you.
 
"Come over"
My mom drove me.
I had new lip gloss.
I’d checked the ingredients to make sure you weren’t allergic.
I knocked on the door.

"You’re always so warm"
It was midnight, and I’d walked to your house.
I promised to never lie to you again.
We held each other under your covers.
The stars on your ceiling glowed dimly.

"I’ll be there soon"
The tears flowed down my cheeks.
You held me so close, told me she was in a better place.
You sang.
You smelled like detergent and shampoo. I asked you where your bike was.
You told me you’d run over.
I gave you a puff of my inhaler.
You stopped wheezing.
 
"I hate not seeing you"
Our schedules clashed. We talked less and less.
I showed you some essays I’d written.
You skimmed the pages.
We fell asleep on the trampoline.

"Your hair’s different"
You stared at your Blackberry.
I told you I’d left it natural.
You finally looked at me and smiled.
You kissed me softly.

"I have to go"
You stopped kissing me, and put your shoes on.
I handed you your jacket, and you kissed my cheek.
I told you I loved you.
You smiled.

"We need to talk"
I told you I was at a bonfire.
You heard my teeth chatter.
You told me to put a coat on.
I said I’d call you when I got home.

"You’re different"
You said we should just be friends.
The world got blurry as my eyes filled with tears.
I couldn’t understand why you were doing this.
You were gone.

"I’ll love you forever, I promise."
I believed you.
I should’ve told you not to ruin this with promises.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Today, I hate many things.

This kind of existence is miserable. I would apologize but I don't think a "sorry" could fix this.
It's funny, the way a heart breaks. It seems like your world is crashing when, in reality, it's all in your head.
Who do you pray for before you go to sleep?
My dreams are so close, and yet so far away. Unraveling on the stage is my favorite part of the day. I stutter even on paper, but with the script, I know what to say.
You know you love someone when you want them, more that anyone else, to dry your tears for you.
He won't take the time to argue with someone who means nothing to him.
You know I'd go to the ends of the earth for you.
Here I am. Once again, I'm torn into pieces.
Life is just a lyric and love is just a rhyme.
I really shouldn't miss you but I can't let you go.
He had one of his dreams that night, and cried in his sleep for a long time, and Wendy held him tight.
Rah-rah. Ah-ah-ah. Ro-ma-ro-ma-ma. Ga-ga. Oh-la-la.  
Although we have been apart for a while, and now have different loves in our life, I still can't help wondering how your life is, and when I catch you glancing at me, I can't help but wonder if your heart beats a little faster, as mine does when I see you.
I think your heart grows back bigger, you know, once you get the hell beaten out of it.
I couldn't make him choose because I know he wouldn't choose me.
For a long time, you were it. I don't know why but it was you.
Thank you for missing me.
If this is what you want I'm fine with that but please don't ever come back; you had your chance.
One night, the moon said to me, 'If he makes you cry, why don't you leave him?' I looked at the moon and said, 'Moon, would you ever leave your sky?' 
Am I mad? That's your main concern after shattering my whole world? Mad for what? For breaking my heart? Or taking my innocence away? All the lies? Maybe for letting me put all my trust in you only to be betrayed? How about the fact that you didn't have the decency to tell me to my face? Or the way you think it's crazy that I'm crying over it, cause you think breaking up is no big deal? Am I mad? No. Of course not.
I'm supposed to be afraid of nothing.
Sometimes if you really want to make things work you have to keep you mouth shut and put your hurt aside.
Forget Edward or Jacob or Mike, I'm team Sirius. ;]
You say you don't love him, but I see it in your eyes that you want him, I know that you need him, I can tell by the look on your face when you see him that you still care, I know somewhere in your heart you wish he was there.
Promise me, that's all I want. Just a promise that you will never forget me. Tell me I changed you somehow. Let me know that I had an impact on your life. Promise me that you will always remember me. Losing you was hard enough, but I don't want to live knowing I meant absolutely nothing to you.
He turned around and looked right at me and said nothing, not even hi. It was as if the months we had spent together, the times I spent loving him just weren't important, as if they never happened.
I guess I've been wishing on her star because she got what I wanted.
Love? It's kind of complicated, but I'll tell you this ... the second you're willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy, that's love right there.
Try as you may, you can't make someone love you.
You just let me walk away without a fight... that's what hurts the most, I knew I would have waited and fought for you forever.
I guess I'm supposed to tell you have too much makeup on, your skirt is too short, and the boys are after only one thing. But you look beautiful.
But you never fought for me.