Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Today, I hate expectations.

You were worth the fight. I just couldn't fight forever.
There is always going to be that one person you wish you could be with, even after knowing that they don't want to be with you.
He's always close enough to touch but never close enough to hold.
Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.
Someday we'll wave hello and wish we'd never waved goodbye.
Funny how it rains all day.
The moment you feel like giving up, just remember why you held on for so long.
Everyone is always asking me what’s wrong, but I don’t even think it makes any sense. My heart just hurts.
No one belongs here more than you do.
I know, no matter how hard we both try and hide it. You miss me just as much as I miss you.
Maybe he'll want me tomorrow.
Well, the tears are starting to slow down now. The pain, however, remains constant.
I don’t want him to call me. I don’t want to talk to him, to have to hear his voice and try and figure out a way for him to not tell by my voice how much I miss him.
I know that after I left he sort of put me on this back shelf in his mind, this second row of his heart, but for me he'll never be anything but first.
Letting go: you want to rid yourself of that person, you want their face to stop appearing everytime you hear that certain song, and you want to not call them at 3am when your heart aches.
I sang her every Willie Nelson song I knew and we made love.
I've accepted the fact that we can't be, but I've also accepted that you're going to be that one person I carry with me for the rest of my life, the one that is always going to make my heart jump a little and my stomach tie up in knots no matter how happy I am otherwise... no matter how long its been.
You make my heart go tickle tickle.
One boy, one girl, two hearts beating wildly.
Forgiveness is never easy. Bitterness is easy; hatred is easy. But forgiveness, that is a tough one. 
Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. 
I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met
You're the epitome of every attribute and quality that I've ever looked for in another person.
He could be anywhere in the world but he chooses to be with her because life is better with her by his side.
I wish you'd fall in love with me like Ken did with Barbie.
Leaving never hurts as much as being left behind. 

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Today, I hate slings.

I do not understand how people can walk away from someone, in reality or conversation, and expect the other person to chase after them. Why must we, as people, challenge those we need so greatly? I refuse to believe that I will run to someone who walked away from me.
Maybe some people aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Maybe some are just passing through to teach us a lesson.
I need you. I don't know why but every now and then in my life for no reason at all, I need you.
I made you cupcakes for your birthday but you never showed up to the game.
You're easy. He's desperate. Have fun with that.
What made you think that he couldn't find the door in the morning when he found that bed so easily in the dark? 
It makes me happy to know that we ended on a good note.
You won’t realize just how many things remind you of a person until they become someone you no longer wish to remember.
I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints.
Don't take this personally because we were never really in love.
You smile makes me want to misbehave.
Crawl back to me. I dare you.
My dad took me to Paris for the weekend. We had the most amazing time. On the plane back to London he asked me, "Do you know why I took you to Paris, only you and me?" And I said, "Why?" And he said, "Because I wanted you to see Paris for the first time with a man who you know will love you for the rest of your life."
And I'm beginning to realize that I'm not who you need.Put your phone down and step away. Sorry honey, but he's not calling today.

If two past lovers can remain friends it's because they were either never really in love or they still are.
Your heart is my favorite shade of black.
Yeah, um... About your face? You should totally get that fixed.
I hate how, looking back, I only regret every decision I made.
And he'd never tell you but he can play guitar.
Welcome to broken hearted airlines. Thank you for crashing and burning with us tonight.
Fail. Be bad at things. Be embarrassed. Be vulnerable. Go out on a limb or two or twelve. You will fall and it will hurt but the farther you fall, the higher you rose and and the higher you rise, the clearer your future becomes.
If it doesn't hurt in the end, it was wasn't worth it in the beginning.
You don't always win your battles but its good to know you fought.
You're cold but you're beautiful. You're a mess but I like it that way.
And everyone's just spending all day thinking about someone who's thinking about someone else.
I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
I think that every girl needs to date a sweet gentleman, a charming liar, a determined brain and a pretty boy to show her she deserves respect, flattery, intelligence and something beautiful.
But it was vile, and it was cheap, and you're beautiful but you mean nothing to me.
I made a list of wrongs and rights tonight and your number one on both sides.
Road signs and street lights are what guide you on your way. Distance doesn't seem to matter much when you have big dreams at a young age.
And that girl that's pretty to you is pretty to other people.
Our message is simple: where our music is welcome, we will play it loud. Where our music isn't welcome, we'll play it even louder.
 I never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Today, I hate remembering Sunday,

Don't talk to her like that.
Now, I don't like using words like "forever" but I promise I'll love you until the end of today. And, in the morning, when I remember everything that you are, I know I'll fall for you again.
I plan on marrying that boy someday so he better plan his future accordingly.
You and I are going to be okay. You know that, right?
I want to meet a boy who will tell me that he thinks I look beautiful with my hair like this. Wavy and curly and five shades too dark for my skin tone. I want him to tell me to never straighten it nor curl it. That it's absolutely beautiful the way it is.
It's like a thousand paper-cuts soaked vinegar; the way I feel when I see him touching her.
I swear I didn't forget.
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the wind longs to play with your hair.
I love everything about you except that you're not mine.
I'm not afraid of trying again. I'm afraid of getting hurt for the same reasons.
Eff this, I'm going to Hogwarts.
And I wonder if you still dream about falling asleep next to me.
What do I look like? The Wizard of Oz? You need a heart? You need a brain? Go ahead. Take mine. Take everything I have.
So I guess we are who we are for many reasons and maybe we'll never know most of them. 
Because unlike you, I meant everything I said.
When you hold me in your arms, you hold me together.
A good friend will ask about your dating history. A best friend will blackmail you about it.
The way we kiss is my drug. When I'm with you, I believe in love.
He said, "If I had a nickel for every girl like you I've met, I'd have five cents."
Whatever, just hang up on me.
You don't need me and that's what's breaking my heart.
You can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them until they get nervous and give in.
I looked at him and he looked at me and, for a second, it's like we forgave each other for everything.
Remember: you don't have to be with a guy to  have your heart broken by him.
Just ask yourself one simple question, is he taking care of your heart?
Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
Of course I like the whole single, party, fun thing but sometimes I wouldn't mind the whole hugging, holding hands, I'm "his girl" kind of thing. 
This is black and white. Not grey, not cream. Black and white.
I can't say that I’m mad at you, because I’m not. I can't say that I hate you, because I don't. And I can't say that I’m done or that I’ll never talk to you again, because I know that I’m not and I know that I will. But I can say that I hope and that I pray, that if you really care about me at all, like you claim that you do, that you will stop setting me up, that you will stop saying things that you know you don't mean, and that from now on... whenever you know deep down that something is going to hurt me, please don't, just don't do it.
It`s like that school girl kind of love; the one where you chew on your pen and look out the window and imagine you two getting married. 
He stumbles over his words. Closes his eyes tightly. Breathes in. Breathes out. Almost loses his courage. "I love you," he says. "I love you so much it hurts." 
"Meet me"
I put my coat on.
I walked out the door, and felt the sharp spring breeze on my face.
It made my cheeks bright red.

"You look flushed"
You hugged me tight, but it was a friend hug.
I could hear the song coming from your I-pod.
 
"You look so pretty"
My back was against the wall.
Your arms were around me.
You buried your head in my neck.
I could feel your eyelashes when you blinked.
 
"You smell like chocolate"
It made me smile.
You looked at my lips, and kissed me for the first time.
The world was so quiet.


"I think... I... love you"
I cradled my phone by my ear.
I told you I loved you too, and you let out a
Breath of relief.
We stayed on the phone until we fell asleep.

"I’m outside."
I crept out the back door, and we sat in my car.
You kissed me.
You’d been gone so long.
I dried your tears, and you stayed quiet.
I promise never to leave you.
 
"Come over"
My mom drove me.
I had new lip gloss.
I’d checked the ingredients to make sure you weren’t allergic.
I knocked on the door.

"You’re always so warm"
It was midnight, and I’d walked to your house.
I promised to never lie to you again.
We held each other under your covers.
The stars on your ceiling glowed dimly.

"I’ll be there soon"
The tears flowed down my cheeks.
You held me so close, told me she was in a better place.
You sang.
You smelled like detergent and shampoo. I asked you where your bike was.
You told me you’d run over.
I gave you a puff of my inhaler.
You stopped wheezing.
 
"I hate not seeing you"
Our schedules clashed. We talked less and less.
I showed you some essays I’d written.
You skimmed the pages.
We fell asleep on the trampoline.

"Your hair’s different"
You stared at your Blackberry.
I told you I’d left it natural.
You finally looked at me and smiled.
You kissed me softly.

"I have to go"
You stopped kissing me, and put your shoes on.
I handed you your jacket, and you kissed my cheek.
I told you I loved you.
You smiled.

"We need to talk"
I told you I was at a bonfire.
You heard my teeth chatter.
You told me to put a coat on.
I said I’d call you when I got home.

"You’re different"
You said we should just be friends.
The world got blurry as my eyes filled with tears.
I couldn’t understand why you were doing this.
You were gone.

"I’ll love you forever, I promise."
I believed you.
I should’ve told you not to ruin this with promises.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Today, I hate many things.

This kind of existence is miserable. I would apologize but I don't think a "sorry" could fix this.
It's funny, the way a heart breaks. It seems like your world is crashing when, in reality, it's all in your head.
Who do you pray for before you go to sleep?
My dreams are so close, and yet so far away. Unraveling on the stage is my favorite part of the day. I stutter even on paper, but with the script, I know what to say.
You know you love someone when you want them, more that anyone else, to dry your tears for you.
He won't take the time to argue with someone who means nothing to him.
You know I'd go to the ends of the earth for you.
Here I am. Once again, I'm torn into pieces.
Life is just a lyric and love is just a rhyme.
I really shouldn't miss you but I can't let you go.
He had one of his dreams that night, and cried in his sleep for a long time, and Wendy held him tight.
Rah-rah. Ah-ah-ah. Ro-ma-ro-ma-ma. Ga-ga. Oh-la-la.  
Although we have been apart for a while, and now have different loves in our life, I still can't help wondering how your life is, and when I catch you glancing at me, I can't help but wonder if your heart beats a little faster, as mine does when I see you.
I think your heart grows back bigger, you know, once you get the hell beaten out of it.
I couldn't make him choose because I know he wouldn't choose me.
For a long time, you were it. I don't know why but it was you.
Thank you for missing me.
If this is what you want I'm fine with that but please don't ever come back; you had your chance.
One night, the moon said to me, 'If he makes you cry, why don't you leave him?' I looked at the moon and said, 'Moon, would you ever leave your sky?' 
Am I mad? That's your main concern after shattering my whole world? Mad for what? For breaking my heart? Or taking my innocence away? All the lies? Maybe for letting me put all my trust in you only to be betrayed? How about the fact that you didn't have the decency to tell me to my face? Or the way you think it's crazy that I'm crying over it, cause you think breaking up is no big deal? Am I mad? No. Of course not.
I'm supposed to be afraid of nothing.
Sometimes if you really want to make things work you have to keep you mouth shut and put your hurt aside.
Forget Edward or Jacob or Mike, I'm team Sirius. ;]
You say you don't love him, but I see it in your eyes that you want him, I know that you need him, I can tell by the look on your face when you see him that you still care, I know somewhere in your heart you wish he was there.
Promise me, that's all I want. Just a promise that you will never forget me. Tell me I changed you somehow. Let me know that I had an impact on your life. Promise me that you will always remember me. Losing you was hard enough, but I don't want to live knowing I meant absolutely nothing to you.
He turned around and looked right at me and said nothing, not even hi. It was as if the months we had spent together, the times I spent loving him just weren't important, as if they never happened.
I guess I've been wishing on her star because she got what I wanted.
Love? It's kind of complicated, but I'll tell you this ... the second you're willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy, that's love right there.
Try as you may, you can't make someone love you.
You just let me walk away without a fight... that's what hurts the most, I knew I would have waited and fought for you forever.
I guess I'm supposed to tell you have too much makeup on, your skirt is too short, and the boys are after only one thing. But you look beautiful.
But you never fought for me. 

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Today, I hate lack of gum when its epically desired.

It's a lot easier to say you're angry than to admit you're hurt.
If you come over, I promise to have hot chocolate ready. We can snuggle up and sit by the fire. Or go outside and watch the moon rise higher.
Your chromosomes have combined beautifully.
It's hard to wait around for something you know won't happen, but it's even harder to stop waiting when you know it's everything you want.
Won't you come back home?
Just because he's the first guy to tell you that you're beautiful doesn't mean he's the only one who ever will. Please don't throw everything away for him.
I know how it feels to think of the right thing to say too late.
She won't forget him but she'll try.
She ran away with tears in her eyes. Boy, you just made an unbreakable girl break.
I never changed. You just lost interest.
'Cause your words are like bullets and I'm the way your weapons aim.
She calls him up; she's tripping on the phone line.
And when I see you, so many things flash by my eyes. My first kiss, my first heartbreak, the first time I settled for less than I deserved, the first time I compromised my beliefs for a boy, and the first time I thought I wasn't good enough. 
I didn't trip. I said hello to the floor with my face.
Boy, when you come around my guard goes up.
In a perfect world, you'd still be here.
Trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never knew.
You're playing with my heart and it's getting really lame. So choose what you want: the girl or the game.  
Two of the hardest tests in life: the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage to admit that you've waited for nothing.
I've seen nights without sleep and days without daylight.
I miss being eight when all he had to do was tag me for me to be it. 
 Cuddling on the coach, reading Harry Potter, would be the best night you could give me.
Seeing her sitting there unresponsive makes me realize that silence has a sound. 
He can’t help but tell himself what a shame it must be to fall in love with someone like him.
Confidence is that voice inside your head telling you that you're capable of being what you're becoming.
"After all this time?" "Always,"
She's in love with the boy.  
Don't try to make life a mathematics problem with yourself in the center and everything coming out equal. When you are good, bad things can still happen and if you are bad, you can still be lucky.
It's not those who are there when you need them. It's who has been there the entire time.
Lets gaze at the stars until the sun decides to show.
 
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
More like you can't stop writing third grade run-on sentences because you can't remotely begin to describe something or someone so inherently amazing. But you're a writer. You can describe anything. That's what you do: pictures to words, events to words, words to even better words. But nothing seems right. 
It's not so bad. You're only the best I ever had. 
You can always tell when two people are best friends because they're always having way more fun than it makes sense for them to be having.
You know, I think a guy becomes friends with a girl and vice versa, because they are both attracted to each other when they first meet. And if they weren’t attracted to each other, they would never have given each other a second look.
No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Today, we wrote Mission Statements.

This year's going to be different. I'm going to push myself when I feel like I've reached my limit. I'm going to listen when people tell me I've got potential I'm not taking advantage of. I'm going to stay happy, as much as I can, whenever I can. Whatever mistakes I make, I won't regret them, because chances are, I was smiling while I did them. Smiling is a beautiful thing and I will never ever regret a smile. I'm going to patch together the beautiful person that always patched me up whenever I crashed and burned. I'm going to finish what I start. I'm going to take life as it comes, and not worry about all the "Maybes". I'm going to follow my heart, but take my brain with me. And I'm going to laugh, laugh a lot. And whatever happens, I'm going to take deep breaths, remember who I am and who I want to be, and remind myself that in the end, life just works out.

Infinite X's and O's,
Susel Alina


This year's going to be better.
I will learn to bite my words when I feel the need to express my frustrations in someone.
I will try to  be patient with those I love and those that surround me.
I will be sympathetic with anyone who needs sympathy which, in reality, is everyone.
I will stop judging.
I will begin to love myself because if I don't, no one can truly love me.
I will treat myself with the respect and dignity I deserve and demand nothing less from everyone I have met and will meet.
I will get more sleep at night.
I will stop when it starts to hurt.
I will learn to play chess.
I will not resort to physical violence.
I will focus on helping others' problems instead of focusing on others' helping my problems.
I will find something that I love.
I will love my mommy more.
I will fight with my daddy less.
I will hug more often.
I will use vocabulary words that make me feel smart.
I will stop cussing.
I will be someone's role model.
I will write a story, from start to finish.
I will enter a door, in the presence of a man, only if he is holding it for me.
I will offer to hold the door for any female company I am with.
I will start washing my face.
I will make sure that the people I love know I love them.
I will spend more time with people who make me laugh.
I will introduce myself to anyone I feel is worth meeting.
I will not blame my parents because I know they're trying their best.
I will tell myself that I'm beautiful.
I will not stop holding my breath but I will always remember to breathe.
And I will be better than just "okay."
Yours,
Jessy Princhescy :]

Today, I hate irrational acts.

Will the love continue if my walk becomes a crawl?
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted.
Think of how different things would be if you hadn't met that one person who changed everything.
There's that occasional night when you just break down because you know things will never be the same.
Today's forecast: partly cloudy with a chance of heartbreak.
I just miss you so much and you're not even gone yet.
Don't tell me not to walk away when you're the one who taught me how.
Moving on is simple... it's what you leave behind that's hard.
And my theory was that if I looked pretty enough, he wouldn't be able to break my heart.
She finally stopped playing their song when she realized she was dancing alone.
Love all. Trust few. Do wrong to no one.
It's just another night; another dream wasted on you.
I should've been your everything. 
You know the words so sing along for me, baby.
Tell me that if I die right now, you'd never be the same.
Everyone hurts you. Don't hold it against them.
She smiled in a big way. The way a girl like that smiles when the world is hers.
My heart's breaking before I know what's happening.
I want to hold hands and waste Friday nights with you.
I close my eyes and beg for peace.
This is the first time the shaking isn't fake.
She lent him her heart for a day. He never gave it back. To this day he’s unable to decide if it was his inner pickpocket talking, or just his fondness for bright, shiny toys.
He calls her ribs xylophone keys and plays music on them with not-quite-careful fingertips.
She tasted that lie on the tip of her tongue, and found that she did not mind the taste.
True love is like a pair of socks. You must have two that match.
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight.
He stole my heart so I'm stealing his last name.
His hello was the end of her endings. Her laugh was the first step down the aisle. His hand would be hers to hold forever. His forever was as simple as her smile. He said she was what was missing. She said she instantly knew. She was a question to be answered, and his answer was I do.
It's funny how we were best friends for so long, but never had that "spark," until your leg accidentally brushed up against mine. 
I sang the songs that I wrote you. 
Girl: Your new girlfriend is pretty. I bet she stole your heart.
Boy: Yeah...she is. But you're still the most beautiful girl I know.
Girl: I hear she's funny and amazing. All the stuff I wasn't.
Boy: She sure is. But she's nothing compared to you.
Girl: I bet you know everything about her by now. Like how you knew just about everything about me.
Boy: Only the stuff that count. I can't even remember the stuff she tells me when I think of you.
Girl: Well...I hope you guys last. Cause we never did.
Boy: I hope we do too. Whatever happened to me and you?
Girl: Well I gotta go. Before I start to cry.
Boy: Yeah me too. I hope you don't cry.
Girl: Bye. I still love you... 

Boy: Later. I never stopped.
They say time heals everything, but I'm still waiting.
I don't wanna know that something I didn't say could have saved us. I don't want there to be things left undone because maybe if I had kiss you a little bit harder, or held you a little tighter I wouldn't have driven you away.
I like dead end signs. I think they're kind. At least they have the decency to let you know when you're going nowhere.
Eventually one of two things will happen: He'll realize you're worth it or you'll realize he isn't.
 
I'll sing you every song I know if it will make you want to stay.  And then i'll say that I missed you. And these words, they'll convince you.
The truly painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said, and never explained.
And my hands are glued right by my side, but they’re aching just to touch you.
I was nothing more than your favorite soundtrack. I was played 'til I skipped and scratched on nearly ever track. You pulled me out whenever you needed something for a party or when life hurt you a little too much. Well, I'm touched, but I'd rather be more than background music.


Someday, you're going to end up all alone and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
"Well, your eyes are puffy. which, from experience, screams textbook crying eyes. You have your hair up, you're probably not planning on impressing any boys today. I'd say you're nursing a hell of a broken heart. And not the school girl crush kind. You're dealing with the real thing."

If I lay here, will you lay with me?